So it begins, after I brew another cup of coffee. Hold on a sec.

Alright, let's get her started. I have been wanting to start, and follow through, with a blog for many months now. So here I go.  A few things you should know for starters, I will start each note with a mood and music choice. Just to let you know what's going on in my kooky head at the time of my typing.

For today: Mood is WAHHH, BLAH, and did I say WAHHH? Music is Kelis, Bossy featuring Too Short.

Let's set some ground rules. Okay, I actually don't have any of those.

A bit about myself, I am a 31 year old wife and mom living in Grayson, GA. For those of you who have never heard of Grayson, join the other millions and gajillions in the world who haven't either. It's a tiny somewhat country-ish suburb on the outskirts of some of the more popular suburbs on the outside of ATL. Spell check doesn't even recognize the word Grayson! Yeah, hahaha. I live in one of those cities I use to make fun of allllllll the time. I would dog people cause they were from nobody land outside of Cleveland and that's where I live now. Ahhhh.

My kids are two little brown biscuits that I just wanna bite bite bite. Bear is 3. Gia is, in simple terms, 1 1/2.

Now that I'm a mom I have accomplished making many stereotypes true. My butt has zero shape, I wear comfy clothes that resemble garbage bags around the house, I eat dinner by 5 pm, and I've been wearing the same shoes since 2008. And I love my life. Sure I could use some new shoes and bras that fit my fat flap jack boobies, but the babies need pull ups, jean shorts, hair bows and fruit snacks. So I guess I can wait.

Here are the shoes I am wearing today. An in-law bought them for me three years ago. I would have never picked them out myself but I haven't bought anything else. Gia loathes them. Whenever I try to wear them, she has a fit and attempts to select something that actually matches what I'm wearing. Nuff said

So Kelis was getting a little out of hand for the office so we are gonna switch over to something G rated, story of my life, with the Spice Girls! And in their honor, I am typing with a British accent now.

I work part time as a Bookkeeper for an Air Taxi Service. It's pretty cool. Small company, a bunch of young guys. I am literally like one of the oldest people here. That's new to me. I'm the only female. That sucks when I need a tampon, but besides that, it's pretty cool. There is sort of a frat house mentality here. Not that they are dropping ruffies in my drinks and tossin pig skins about (brief switch to Canadian accent), but they are playing basketball with a hoop that hangs on a door, drinking an endless supply of Diet Mountain Dew and not knowing when Mother's Day is.

I'm not quite sure where I'm headed with this morning's rant so I might back out before I say something stupid like I think I'm getting my period.

Oh! One more thing. Me and Ken, the man I am married to, went to see Aziz Ansari last night. A-mah-zing! I felt like a grown as woman. I was totally stressed as me and Ken were both trying to follow different GPS programs on our smart phones. I don't think anyone was actually driving. Downtown parking was a nightmare and we didn't have any cash. You can tell I never go out. Once we finally parked and got seated, the show started late, which is right on time for us. Aziz was like a little Indian firecracker that I just wanted to put in my pocket but I can't cause he's so damn explosive. He joked about parents and married people and I laugh/cried because he was right on. Married women, at least this one, are squishy; my words not his.

Pause: Coworker just insisted I eat the other half of his chocolate danish. Loving my job.

And with that, I dine and ditch, with British accent.