The eX Factor

Mood: Frustrated
Music: Gnarls Barkley, Crazy

"Maybe I'm crazy. Probably."

Pshh, no doubt about it.

So, as some of you may have noticed, my blog title refers to the fact that I have a past quite different from the life I live today. Is that what happens when you grow up? Not for me, I didn't let go of my old ways until I was well into what many would call "the growing up years." I live life differently today due to the fact that not only is GOD incredible, but I recognize him today. He is my true love.

As I think about what my life was, being an eX party girl I am flooded with gratitude that I didn't have to grow up, my awkward years or college years, with Facebook! I feel like things would have been so different up in Cleveland Heights  (Go Tigers!) if I not only had to stress about what I was wearing to school but also what haters were posting about me on their facebook pages. I'm literally gagging in my mouth right now. I guess old school children of the 90s, that we are, used to just roll our eyes at girls we didn't like and write the occasional mean threat in the bathroom, across the hall from the Social Room/Cafeteria. (I've never done that, swear!)

In modern day, I am "friends" with a lot more people from high school on fb then I was while I was actually in high school. Sure the current friendship is often the same as it was then, the occasional eye contact, wardrobe judgement or no communication whatsoever. But now, in 2012, if I think a girl looks pretty, I tell her! What a concept. Instead of me thinking mean things about her, because her shoes really are a-dor-able, I compliment her and move the hell on with my day.

I am even bummed to realize the number of fun ass people that I didn't hang out with back then, because they were smart, or not smart, trendy or not trendy. Some folks on fb seem kind when commenting on my photos, thoughtful when commenting on my status updates, or incredibly hilarious on their own pages. I totally missed out on possible great science class lab partners who could have had me cracking up, and possibly letting me copy an answer, or two.

What do kids do today? I've seen stuff about online bullying and sometimes I think "If someone is your fb friend, and talking shit about you, can. you. delete. them??? I'm not trying to sound rude, please forgive me if I do. I really just don't understand the cyber world for chirren today. Do they accept friend requests from all classmates or do the boundaries of the social sturcture still stand? I wouldn't last a minute, either way.

Fast forward from high school to college. When my drunk dialing, (head hangs in shame), was at an ultimate high. I would wake for the day, at 2:30 pm, wander to the closest Subway/Gas Station for another punch in my card and french vanilla cappuccino and my head would begin to clear and I would recollect my obscene, unneccesary and degrading actions of the previous night. I'd close my eyes tight and begin to regret it all, at least all that I remembered. Then I would go call Sally to find out what else happened cause I really just didn't remember. How I dreaded having to see the face of anyone I had drunk dialed the night before. To look at them, in there sober eyes, and think "yep, I did say that wierd ass shit to you last night. And truth is, once I get drunk today, I will probably call you again tonight and do it all over again." Gag!

I just started putting the phone and the bottle down as cell phones became more popular. Thank GOD! I can't imagine me, out there, with the convenience of being able to drunk text someone. Now I'm not so old, or so far removed, that I never did it. But it didn't get as awful as it could have.

And what about drunk facebooking? Is that a term? I've seen on fb how people, wives even, have hated on significant others, via their status updtes at 3 o'drunk o'clock in the morning. Ouch! Not only does the individual look like a fool to the person they call out but then everyone in the fb world, dating back to elementary school AND future employers get a peak at their level of  "Oh no they didn't!"

I would have been a hot mess, drooling over the romantic lyrics of Celine Dion, chardonnay bottle almost empty, and a crush's inbox within my reach. Gasp, I shutter to think about the possible consequences.

So for today, I thank God for the life I have, the sanity I hope to maintain, and the fewer ways I embarass myself. And to the tweens out there, posing and posting their entire Pussycat Dolls soundtrack-ed life (do people still listen to them?) out in cyber world, I say "Sorry for ya".