Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Road to Embracing My Womanhood: Part II

Music: NSYNC "The Game is Over"
Mood: Hungry and Anxious

Mmmmm. Condensed Cambell's Tomato Soup. Who woulda thought I would be 32 years old chowing down on this stuff? Honestly I hadn't had a bowl since 1992, maaaaybe 1993, now I eat it like urry day (Yes I said urry, I live in the south now. When in Rome...Rome, GA that is).

Time out! Soup is not the subject. Let's get right to Part II.

Where did I leave off? "Wait wait Brooke" you are all screaming at once. "What the hell NSYNC song are you listening too, and why?" Let me explain a lil something to you. I require a certain brand of POP to listen to whilst sitting at my computer, to get through my day. I usually start off with Kimbra, move on to Britney (It's Britney BITCH!), Destiny's Child, Spice Girls (duh), Bruno Mars and then of course Jamiroquai. The reason you've never heard of this NSYNC song is probably because you gave up on them and didn't purchase their last album "Celebrity". Fret not dear readers. You can listen to it on Spottify. Go on. Right now. I'll wait.

 Before folks started "taking their talent" elsewhere
 Okay, let's see. Where was I. Ah yes, I'm in high school (GO TIGERS), pretty vain, extremely girly, and obsessed with clothes. I loathed basketball with exception to our own school's team. I felt like I was always trying to compete with some guys attention cause he was focused on some stupid basketball something. Boys were either playing ball, talking about it, watchin' games, playing basketball video games, watching game highlights on ESPN at 2, 4, 6 or 8:00, or walking round the town with basketball shorts on under their baggy jeans so that BOOM, at a moments notice, they could drop their pants and play basketball Immediat-damn-ly! Like "Thank God I have my basketball shorts on!!!" Hated it! And like the true girly snot I was at that young age, (and can still be today), I didn't like having to fight for anyone's full attention.

I had the cutest purses in high school. Sigh.

It's hard to tell from the pic how evil it was, sort of.

College proposed new challenges for this young wise woman of the world. Although stoked to go off to college I opted not to go too far from home cause truly, deep down inside, I would always be my parent's lil girl and was so totally attached to them. First problem, they (the evil Ohio State University Committee of Dorm Assigners - I just made that up), placed me in an all girl dorm!!! Bwhaaaaaat? There were 28 dorms on campus, a fact I'm proud to know, and only TWO of those dorms were all girl dorms!!! Mac and mother frickin Canfield Hall! I didn't choose Canfield. I guess I could say for a dramatic twist, Canfield chose me....A handful of my Heights High classmates suffered the same fate as I and were placed in Mac Hall. Why??? Whyyyyyy ? - I would cry out with arms wide open, looking to the rainy skies like Jennifer Love Hewitt in every scary movie ever made.

Living in an all girl dorm was doomed to suck for the following reasons:
1. Eeeeew
2. I'm at college! I need the full college experience of living down the hall from boys! (tee hee, boys!)
3. I hated girls, women, young ladies, whatever you wanted to call them. Please note that today that hatred does not exist within me as I am more comfortable in my own skin and embracing of the sisterhood of women.
4. The girl dorms had limited hours that boys could come over! Bwhaaaaaaat???? That's like what college was all about, right? Boys down the hall, hangin out on the quad, throwin the pig skin about..I'm just makin up shit now.

I could not wait to get out of that dorm. Seriously. I blame OSU for my low performance in my classes that freshman year. Although my extracurricular activities - non school related, AT ALL - might have effected me a tiny bit, it was really my dorms fault. Had they had not been so selfish, and just given me the desires of my heart, I would have probably done well that year, graduated Magnum Cum Something Or Other and be CEO of some kind of great whatever by some fancy name.

Let me break this down like an episode of an animal show on National Geographic: When the female lion leaves it's home town and goes off to lion college it needs to be in a coed dorm or the female lion gets really annoyed and eats lots of Cheetos, gaining the famous Freshman 15, and throws mean evil eyes at every other female lion in her Vagina face dorm.

Look at Auntie Brenna back in 1999! I had to blow this pic up so you could see my dorm room. It's littered with Spice Girl dolls and my fave Cabbage Patch, Ricky. Maybe I wasn't even mature enough for a coed dorm...Just sayin'
Dorm Life = Abstract Ricky Works of Art
Man on the hall! Nope, just me. I opted to look like a boy since we didn't have many around.
Women that I met and love to this day from Mac & Canfield Hall.
You want to hear a secret...shhhh. Many of the women that I met or got to know in those female dorms, turned out to be my bestest friends ever. BOTH of my children's God Mother's lived in those female dorms. What does that say? Maybe I didn't hate girls as much as I thought I did? Maybe I didn't require men to have a good time? Ya think? Nooooooo.... That year in the dorms was one of the silliest of my life. Watching endless episodes of Webster at 4:30 in the afternoon or the entire hall of girls getting ready to go out on the town! Good times! Thanks evil Ohio State University Committee of Dorm Assigners.

Bear with his God Mother Ce Ce.
Gia and her God Mother Auntie Colleen.

Talk to you later. See you at Part 3.

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